I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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