I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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