You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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