Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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