It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
