We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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