I look better un-naked...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
