im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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