if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
