and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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