New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
