OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
