bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
