I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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