The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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