I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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