help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Never underestimate the power of titties
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