I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Use "feeling words"
Yay
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
