you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
