sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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