The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
