Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have fence marks all over my body
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
