Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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