Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
