Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
