Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
