I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
