oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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