and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
