Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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