My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
