i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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