She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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