How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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