I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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