Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
