You're completely useless in the revolution.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
