If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
