idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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