I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
