I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it because I queefed?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
