Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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