I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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