dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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