Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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