Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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