just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
