Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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