I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
