Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
