Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
