We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
