Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
