First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
