rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
