His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
