i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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