i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
