You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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